#37: god blessed me with the ability to sleep on planes
a new app, some personal thoughts on BYU, and a tiktok wishing everyone a happy pride month
hi hi hi sisters ♡ can we believe that it is june already?! because I sure can’t. last night I flew back into new york city after having a wonderful 2+ weeks in san francisco. as much as new york drives me crazy with the inconveniences, the humidity, the rats, the prices, I love this city more than words can describe. flying over manhattan at night, seeing all the lights twinkling makes me giddy. I truly feel like a little kid on christmas just in awe of the beautiful city i’ve been lucky to call home for almost 4 years now.
also HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! while most anyone I know could tell you that I am positively straight, my tiktok definitely thinks i’m a lesbian and I’ll take it, because I have truly always felt so safe being an ally for the LGBTQ+ community. and I want to honor that community by taking the time this month sharing songs and movies and recs that can help all of us be better allies, or be a better member!
I have a new app for everyone, its called everywhere is queer. its a “public resource (and ever-growing searchable map!) created for the LGBTQIA2S+ and ally community to find welcoming, queer-owned spaces to shop, connect, eat, learn, and grow all over the world… even in your own neighborhood!”
essentially the app will let you know which shops and restaurants and businesses are owned by LGBTQ+ individuals! perfect to download and start using now!
movies: the votes have it, i’ll share each movie!!
started off the week watching palm springs, its a rom-com starring andy samberg. while he’s not usually my favorite, he was very enjoyable in this film! highly recommend for a silly little watch. the rest of the week somehow ended up being disney movies haha. we watched the aristocats, I always loved this film as a kid because the little girl cat is named marie and that is my middle name, so i felt special watching it. then treasure planet was the next film enjoyed, I truly did not remember a second of this film, but the movie cover is something that has never left my mind. so it was fun watching it and experiencing it for almost the first time again. and lastly, we watched the many adventures of winnie the pooh, and boy oh boy do I love that silly little ol’ bear SO. GOSH. DARN. MUCH. I could EXPLODE!!!
books: i’ve been devouring books in the past couple of weeks, mainly thanks to not being in school or having an internship at the moment (it starts this morning, womp womp). I finished the book “meet me on the bridge” it was quite cute! I also read a book called “Piglet,” this book, I don’t even know if I can describe it to give it justice. but it was truly one of the most detailed books I have ever read in my entire life. the author used such descriptive language for each and every sentence. I really enjoyed the visual nature behind every word. i’m slowly reading a book called “the defining decade”, its about why our 20’s are crucial. i’m a quarter of the way through and have liked it so far, makes me feel better about not knowing what might happen in life. its one that I read in between fiction books.
in my mind: an interesting article around the brief history of the word queer; from how it was a slur to now a very commonly accepted term. would love to hear your thoughts!
i’ve been wanting to share some writing I did for a class of mine this past semester. I was in a sexuality, gender-identity, and the law class and we had the opportunity to write an op-ed and a research paper on whatever topic we wanted to (that fell within the parameter of the class, or a topic that was regulating of sexuality or gender-identity). I decided to write about a major shelf-breaking moment of mine, the treatment of LGBTQ+ members, that led me down the path of leaving the mormon church. its a 6 page op-ed and even longer research paper, so in honor of pride I will be breaking up my op-ed into different parts and sharing a quarter of it each week this month in this section
here is part 1 of 4:
"I just want to be with my mom in heaven." These are the words uttered by my friend as we walk home arm in arm on a Tuesday night in New York. Corbin and I have been talking about our religious beliefs and qualms and he is expressing to me his concerns on certain beliefs held by the Mormon church regarding the afterlife. He is best friends with his mom, and he worries that because he is gay, he will never see her again after death. You see, the Mormon church teaches that homosexual behaviors are condemned as sinful; the church does not approve of same sex marriage and acting on any of these feelings disqualifies you from achieving the highest kingdom of heaven. So, Corbin, quite possibly one the sweetest and most Christ-like individuals I had ever met at that point in my life, would not be able to see his mother in heaven because he is gay. And at that moment my shelf began to break. Within Mormon church culture there is a sentiment that if you have a question or issue about the church's doctrines, teachings, or history, you put that question on a shelf and try to forget about it. You "doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith," so to say. Many shelf questions include concerns about teachings of polygamy, LGBTQ issues, the controversial history of the founding prophet Joseph Smith, massacres for land rights, past policies on black members, women's issues, and so on. At some point, when all these questions and concerns and ideas don't make sense to your worldview anymore, your shelf breaks.
Whenever someone asks which college I went to for my undergrad, I must decide how I want to answer that question. I could say "oh I went to school in Utah" and leave that there. I could say "I went to BYU," and hope either the person asking doesn’t know about BYU or they don’t know enough about BYU. Or I could even say, "I went to BYU, and while I valued my time and experience there, I think it’s important to note that I do not align with the school's values as an institution;" but that can open a can of worms… Institutionally Brigham Young University and the regulations at the school are very problematic, particularly for those within the LGBTQ community; while I, myself, do not identify within this community, I have many close friends who do, and I would confidently call myself an ally. BYU has an honor code that enforces certain rules and regulates the actions and behaviors of students on campus, including the regulation of same-sex relationships. This honor code creates a condition on loving everyone while also sheltering those that cause harm and protecting church image over safeguarding its own students.
tiktok: happy pride, this made me giggle; love a good attachment style joke; this song is beautiful
pinterest: truly laughed out loud; I love the idea of making a new birthday crown each year
instagram: I want to be very intentional this year and continue ever learning about the queer community that I love so much; okay shes GORG;
I’m currently fighting against my inner clock with west coast to east coast time this morning, but thankfully I took a couple of naps on my two flights yesterday. I will say, I’m very grateful that I can zonk out on any flight I take. even if its a short flight, i will probably be sleeping for 20 minutes of it…
