#55: maybe politics and family don't mix after all
better late than never!!
hi hi hi sisters ♡ somehow I always find myself traveling on a monday, which makes for newsletter curation a little difficult. but that is 100% on me as I should 1) prepare better ahead of time and 2) well I guess just mainly the first one, I could have picked a different publishing date too I suppose. ohhhh well!!
I hope you had a great week! fall is in full swing, unless you live in las vegas or arizona and then its 90 degree weather instead 😎 but in new york i’m so happy that its fall!! flying into the city just a little bit ago, I was able to see all the color fall trees on long island, and ugh my heart just skips a beat! I ♡ fall
for the next little bit I want to keep the recommendations section to recommendations for different substacks that I read. I find it to be really important to support small “businesses” (that sounds odd to use here, but maybe influencers is another word I can use?) and one way I can do that is by sharing about them! you know the drill
this week I want to share the substack postcards by elle. each week she sends out a weekly postcard that is chock full of goodies and personal essays as well as lots of books and media recommendations. she recently wrote this post called romanticize a quite life that I really really truly loved. a lovely reminder that being alone isnt always a lonely thing and can sometimes be quite good for us.
movies: only watched two movies this week but they both happened to be new movies in theaters, so that makes it feel extra exciting in some way. the first was we live in time starring Florence pugh and Andrew Garfield. holy heck their chemistry was out of this world. truly felt like I was watching a film about their lives together as a real couple. so beautiful and moving and lovely all around. the second movie I saw was the outrun, it’s a newer movie starring saoirse ronan, her character is struggling with alcoholism and its just about her recovery and backstory. very good as well. saoirse is truly a phenomenal actress, I love her so much
in my mind: you guys, I love florence pugh. my love for her really cumulated during covid when she would do cooking with flo videos, and since then, every video I watch of florence pugh cooking just makes my heart soar, it feels like she is really connecting to something special to her. so this was a fun interview for that reason.
in my stomach: while in vegas for my aunts wedding I had to get in n out with my papa. kelley (my sister) and I also took him to get a “dirty” soda from a soda shop in vegas. he loves dr pepper and we knew we had to take him to get it.
going home has never been one of my favorite activities. I don’t really love vegas but on the flip side, it feels like home, or more so feels like a part of me. I know the backstreets, its my stomping grounds; I don’t need google maps. I can point out to all the places ive lived across the valley. las vegas was my childhood but it was also my jail. I have learned and grown so much since leaving las vegas and am a drastically different person now than I was when I lived under the roof of my parents- thank god for that.
its also hard because every time I go home it feels like I have to do le tour de las vegas. I have three sets of grandparents that live in vegas, along with my parents, who are divorced, so that’s 5 different stops I have to make. and it becomes quite exhausting because some of those stops I have to do on my own.
along with feeling weird about las vegas I also am learning to navigate conversations about politics with family members that believe staunchly different than me. my parents and some grandparents are avid Trump supporters, and I don’t know about most of my family, but my papa is truly so pro-israel. and that’s a really hard and tricky divide to navigate. they feel so strongly that they are correct in their beliefs, and I feel like in order to keep the peace I have to bite my tongue. and I feel like it’s the most difficult with my papa.
I can’t explain it, but my papa is one of my most favorite people in the world. I think its because hes always been a really stable male figure in my life. one that is really loving and kind, we could see his love for my grandma jo so clearly throughout their marriage. hes always been my biggest advocate and supporter and has always been in my corner. so when he says things that are incredibly harmful and damaging and outright wrong I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know I could push back and correct him and read him stats and stuff, but he is so full of fox news rhetoric that anything I say wont make a difference to him (or my parents or some other family members). I also know that whenever I am put in situations where I have to somewhat stand up for something I believe in, I crumple and start crying because tears are how my emotions of anger and frustration and misunderstanding and sadness are all expressed. and I really just don’t feel like crying and putting up a fight with family.
I sometimes feel almost shameful saying that my family supports a rapist arrogant asshole of an individual who just so happens to be running for president again. but there is a guy on tiktok who has talked about how his parents are also republican and how he manages the imbalance of emotions- love and frustration. and it was really refreshing to hear about someone else going through something similar, it’s one of the first times I have heard someone talk about this weird place to be.
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I highly encourage everyone to watch the tiktok above, its only 90 seconds. I really like what he says about not allowing donald trump and maga ruin his real life relationship with his real life parents and grandparents, no matter how incredibly flawed their thinking may be to me. and I know that that cant be the choice for everyone. but at the end of the day i do love my family and I dont want one orange carrot of a man get in the way of that.
BUT ITS STILL SO FREAKING HARD AND NUANCED and if you are in a similar place please know that I feel for you and relate to you and you are seen.
tiktok: can kelly clarkson truly cover every song, like her voice is AMAZING; I still havent listened to this podcast episode because i’m petrified that i’m going to sob and i’m a little too fragile for that at the moment, but I loved this clip of andrew garfield
pinterest: dasani 🤮; I love this wreath, I feel like you can have it up from november to february and it would match each month just perfectly
instagram: ariana grande and cinthya erivo are lovely; an incredibly heartwarming story
have a good week!! love you all! thank you for being here ◡̈
