#76: more sunlight !!!

curvy girl love and therapy talk

Mar 11, 2025

hi hi hi sisters ♡ so so so happy that daylight saving time is here (its actually not savings and it just sounds dumb lol)

Share Kaitlynn’s Substack

but i’m grateful for the extra daylight in the evening, its a little odd at the moment but i’m looking forward to longer days.

keeping the recommendations section to recommendations for different substacks that I read. I find it to be really important to support small “businesses” (that sounds odd to use here, but maybe influencers is another word I can use?) and one way I can do that is by sharing about them!

april baby

said it best here !!!

some of my fav curvy ladies to follow on social media that make me feel like I dont need to lose weight to feel worthy in my body: Alex Hazen I love her she is so funny and genuine!! Melanie Lynskey, I just found out about her, shes gorgeous curvy and everyone on the internet loves her. Brittany Boyack, i’ve mentioned her many times but I love her so so so much!

movies: an interesting conglomerate of movies this week, well actually only this weekend but still. watched mission impossible 4, I am really liking these you guys. tom cruise is insane, I am so impressed with him and his stunts!! bjørn and I saw mickey 17 in theaters, I really liked it. robert pattinson is so perfect and I cant wait to see him in more movies because he does such a good job at embodying a character. I also really enjoyed where the story went, I wasnt expecting it. and lastly for movie church we watched heathers and basically everyone was so shocked at the story line, but I had seen it before so it was shocking to me, but its a pretty typical problematic 90s movie but its so campy I kinda like it. but I prefer bottoms 100%

podcasts: a reminder that is easy to fall into being scared that the world is going to end and to give into the fear mongering rhetoric online, but this podcast, pod save america, is a really nice level headed podcast that keeps me a little sane

music: dolly parton released a new song called if you hadnt been there in honor of her husband who recently passed away. its so sweet and hearing her older voice makes me so emotional. shes an icon and I love her

in my mind: currently reading manacled… its interesting, don’t know how its going to turn out

just about a month ago I started therapy. i’ve been in and out of therapy throughout a good portion of my life. for the most part i’ve had positive experiences with therapy, but i’ve never consistently participated in therapy for an extended period of time. i had a therapist (I think) in high school, but he honestly might have been just a psychiatrist and my mom was there so yeah it wasn’t therapy per say. and then on my mission I think that’s was the most consistent that I was able to participate in therapy, but that being said, my therapist switched half way through because he got a new job. I did therapy through BYU Caps and then group therapy while at BYU but it only lasted a semester I think. then I had an independent therapist at the end of BYU/when I first moved to new york but he was a therapist to my dad and did couples therapy with my mom and was also my sisters therapist, which I don’t think a therapist should see multiple members of the same family at all. that ended in 2021 and then when I first started law school I had a therapist but she was an LDS family therapist and I felt like I couldn’t be 100% honest with her about personal things in my life because I didn’t want her thoughts as a member of a church get in the way of her being a therapist to me.

soooo for the past two years i’ve been raw dogging life- while navigating law school and my first relationship ever. thankfully i’ve been able to be on medication 🫶🏻 god bless meds. but it’s been HARD. and it’s been so so so hard to find a therapist that 1) works with my schedule, 2) is someone I vibe with, 3) is someone I can afford, etc etc. so it’s been a challenge and a big obstacle in my life. i’ve been following my current therapist on social media for a bit because she works with people who have left religion (especially those that have left mormonism) and let me tell you, that in and of itself is so nice to have. someone that understands these deep feelings and understands the impact that something that doesn’t seem like a big deal is actually a really big deal and why it would cause turmoil even now. also i’ll be able to keep this therapist as my therapist when I move to california, which is a big big big blessing.

it’s interesting being in therapy and realizing just how much I have to work on to get to a place to have a healthy mindset, one where I don’t have debilitating negative self talk, or one where I don’t feel the weight of everyone’s emotions and reactions on my back all the time. and to realize the work I have to do to go through past trauma and overcome. sometimes I think “damn it’s crazy that some people literally don’t feel these things and they live through their life just living life and don’t feel inundated by mental health issues or anxiety or trauma” I can’t imagine what that must be like haha

my friend liv compared it to not needing glasses. some people wake up and can just see (me) and others wake up and are blind to the world. I can’t comprehend how they can’t see. and they can’t comprehend how I can just see. which is a funny comparison but also one that’s so easy to understand and grasp. some people really just don’t have anxiety (or depression or trauma) bogging them down each and every day, and I can’t comprehend that, and they can’t comprehend being any different either !!

so i’m grateful for medication and therapy and other resources I have access to that can help me, just like how glasses and contacts can help those that can’t see. im glad I can continue on with therapy as I navigate a LOT of life changes from now until like october, it’s nice to be able to have someone that I can talk to and that help put into words my feelings and emotions in a way that I can understand them more. thank goodness for therapists!!